Eternal Sonata (360) Review

Eternal Sonata tries to be something that its not: Good

The story starts following around a complete moron named Polka who happens to be a like 14 year old blonde retard who lives in a fun little redneck town where people sleep with their siblings. Oh and they sell flowers to survive - sweet.

Over the course of the next few boring hours she gets sucked on an adventure with Fredric Chopin. Yea - the 19th centry classical pianist - to figure figure out why the generic version of her floral powder is cheaper than the real stuff and why it isnt taxed. This requires talking to Count Waltz, the totally emo 17 year old ruler of the town of Forte.

Meanwhile Fredric did so much meth that he thinks the entire world is his dream, which in reality it is, and that everything doesnt matter because its in his head. 3 times through my single playthrough of this game Fredric had monologues so long that the xbox controller actually shut off from lack of use.

Anyway, along the course of this idiotic setup for an RPG you come across too fucking many party members who join you, and get roped into a political and spiritual journey to save the world. Imagine that.

Concept: A mushroom adventure in the land of music. Featuring Fredric Chopin and basically enforced history lessons to the backdrop of what seem like slides from a bad powerpoint presentation about the piano and/or the history of europe in the 1830's.

Graphics: I cannot fault the graphic design team, the character design and landscapes are beautiful, some of the special attacks are completely awesome looking - I never got tired of watching several of them. it isnt all that hard to make a 'cartoon' game look good on the 360 but this is one of the better looking ones that Ive seen. Some of the landscapes are just awe-inspiring and pretty much every frame of the game looks like it could be a still from an anime.

Sound: Most of the music is works of the classical composer Fredric Chopin, and as such is great. The music really does a good job of capturing the feel of whatever is happening in the story. Music related minigames are totally homosexual and need removed completely. Also MOST of the voice acting is pretty good, the emo retards and the little kids.. they need to never work again, Polka and Beat seriously need to shut the fuck up - every time the main character talked I wanted to mute the TV and just read the subs.

My biggest problem with the voiceacting was the awkward "due to translation not matching up with animation" pauses between every single line of dialogue. It makes it seem like every single thing they are saying is SO PROFOUND that you need 3-4 seconds to soak it in. Honestly the game would be more interesting if that was the case, and they abandoned storyline completely.

Gameplay: They tried to do a real-time turn based combat system, you have X amount of time to do your actions and it ticks down as you do them. Also the option to change what kind of clock/special moves you have is a nice feature, but you need to do an entire extra dungeon to unlock being able to change that for your 2nd playthrough. The combat system wasnt so bad, I actually started to like it later on but it was not very good because of buggy targetting and lousy camera angles making you miss special attacks.

The complete and total lack of in-game mapping really hurts them, this is a pretty much standard feature in every game you play nowadays. Im not sure why there is no map but it just hurts the player because of bad camera angles and overly maze-like dungeons.

Music based mini-games? wow retarded. I cant read music and you shouldn't punish people like me - thank god for gamefaqs.

This game sets out to fuck you from the get go by only allowing you to get MAYBE 190 or so Achievement points in a single playthrough. Searching everything and trying to find all the hidden stuff is something I normally do. When I realized that I could not get shit for achievements I basically stopped searching completely and just ran from boss to boss. I decided I was tired of continually fighting shit at 22:15 hours, at 25h or so I was done with the game and had gotten into maybe 10 fights.

Like any good RPG there are shops where you can buy things, but the 3rd character you get to join your party comes with a camera where you can take pictures of monsters in fights and sell them at shops. - This gives a frivilous amount of money - after an hour I had more money than I could spend in the entire rest of the game buying 99 of everything I could.

Too many party members, I think theres like.. 11 possible party members, but 3-4 actually kick ass. Some have support roles and others just do dmg, others use magic - and the main character sucks balls. So basically I only used the same 3 characters for 95% of the game because there was no point in using the rest or they were underleveled. Trying to keep all my characters the same level proved fruitless due to overflowing amount of followers the main character has.

Continuity Issues: There is a definate time loop in the storyline, but they dont talk about it AT FUCKING ALL - they mention it and then move on like its totally unimportant. At the end Chopin dies, but then hes alive 2 minutes later talking in a cutscene. Also the ending made basically no fucking sense. I understand every layer and concept in the metal gear solid series, and this game confused the fuck out of me. Not because it was overly complicated, but because it was either total jibberish or completely retarded, im not sure which.

The senseless drivel of a storyline is more often confusing then logistical, and the senseless rambling about life and dreams and what is real from Fredric really just seems thrown in there to add depth to an otherwise idiotic plot. The 'enforced histroy lessons' periodically thrown in about Fredric Chopin seem like some sort of way to force the audience to learn, as skipping one of these results in skipping usually a huge storyline cutscene. These seemed like a great time to go drop a deuce or smoke if you have to, because the one that I did skip resulted in me skipping apparently a huge cutscene, being given a key that I had no fucking clue what it went to and I didnt even know what I was supposed to be doing.

During the credits there was like a 20 minute long speech from all the characters about living your life to its fullest or someshit that sounded like some sort of cult initiation ceremony.

Overall I gave Eternal Sonata a 5 out of 10, a totally par game if you are a little kid and dont want to try to understand what you are doing. The mediocre combat system, fantastic art and good sound doesnt make up for total jibberish and idiocy.

Total damage is 120 Achievement points in about 26 hours.

I do not recommend this game to anyone with an IQ over 90. Unless you are a total Chopin / Classical Piano nut.

Silent Hill: Origins (PSP) Review

Do you feel comfortable in the dark? Well if you get this game you better become pretty damn comfy with it.

Origins brings us to the source of the nightmarish world we have come to know as Silent Hill. By following the main character “Travis Brady” we (supposedly) find how this world was created and why it has been held back until this point. This game also allowed the developers to tie in many elements from the movie “Silent Hill.”

The cut-scenes in the beginning and end of this game are absolutely beautiful. I’m still amazed by the power of the PSP to create such great graphics in a hand-held. The graphics while playing the game however are noticeably worse. Although not horrible, they do remind me of the early PS2 days.

Game play hasn’t changed from the other Silent Hills. Find a weapon, smash, punch or shoot a demon, then run…fast. The dark is where you will be spending most of your time and your trusty flashlight is the only light to guide you through dark hallways, tunnels, and sewers. You will find your self constantly toggling between the “nightmare” world and the “regular” world to finish tasks and solve puzzles. If you’re like me, you’ll be doing a lot of exploring as well. Finding things such as health drinks, weapons, and clues to the storyline.

The storyline feels like a recycled version of the other Silent Hill Games. I was expecting a big “whoa” moment, but never got it. In fact I left the game a bit more confused then when I started. Origins really didn’t answer the questions I had. The only question it did answer was how the “little demon girl” was introduced to Alessa.

The camera angles were an absolute joke. The developers did give the option to center the camera, but it barely ever worked and it certainly didn’t work when a demon was hunting you down. The awkward camera made it so when you entered a new scene and held the joystick while changing scenes, the character would run back to the scene he was just in…what a fucking pain in the ass and waste of time. I did this dance a few times before I realized it was best to not hold the stick while changing scenes.

I only ran into one glitch while playing. At the end of the game, after getting the room 500 key, DON’T go back through the managers office. I took that route 3 times and each time it froze the screen. I could still hear myself turn the flashlight on and off, but the screen was black and the loading symbol stayed on the screen. I’m guessing the reason for this was the triggering of a cut-scene when Travis gets to room 500. So, if you’re not in the right place when you get to room 500, your game will crash.

Replay value was much larger than I had expected. There are more than ten different unlockables, which will supply you with costumes, weapons and accessories for your next trip through the game. Get the moon gauntlets and play around with them a bit, one punch will take out a large demon. You can also get night vision goggles, which are quite helpful in the never-ending dark. The game also offers 3 different endings. But these are just a few of things you can get.

Even though I am a fan of the series I will have to give this game a 6.5 out of 10. I really did enjoy this game, but I think it was my fanboyism that was causing the excitement and not the game. So, if you’re a fan of the series or you are new to it, then this game is worth a solid rent.

Bioshock (360) Review

Bioshock was an experience for me, on a deep down emotional level.

From the moment that the game case touched my hand something deep inside me wanted nothing more than to hate this game.

And so I began my trek through the halls of rapture, searching for reasons to fuel my hatred so I could justify ripping into this game and giving it a terrible score.

I found Nothing.

And i kept trying to invent reasons, ANYTHING I could get my hands on to make the game seem worse to me.

And the only thing that kept coming up was after 4-5 days of playing when the game still was going strong. - its too long.

A pathetic lie just being used to fuel my desire to hate this game.

Now in reality, looking back, I fucking loved it.

This FPS does everything that a fps should do, but the real measure of quality to me is atmosphere. Few FPS since half-life (one) have ever had the atmosphere where i really felt it, And Bioshock does. Where most games fail Bioshock does it right, and it raises the bar to a new standard.

I wanted to hate it so badly, but I found myself coming back every chance I had. It made me feel almost dirty, like an addict sneaking a fix.

Visually perfect, the shadows and the look makes the atmosphere almost thick enough to choke a bitch with. The like 1940's style to everything made Rapture feel like it could really exist somewhere. The models are rich and detailed, the environments are designed for a purpose in rapture, not an arena in a game, and as such provide another level to the atmosphere.

Overall the sound was pretty quality, since storyline is told using casettes found all over rapture you have to assume that the main storyline isnt going to sound like two guys talking over soup cups with a string. The voice actors do a good job conveying the emotions that occur in their lives and as the case may be, their deaths. Guns sound like they should for being 1960's guns, realistic noises for bullets vs random environment when you miss your mark. Random enemies don't repeat the same lame 1 liners constantly, and actually talk to themselves like crazy people should.

The guns and physics were firm, the gameplay side was great. 51? Tonics and like 14? plasmids for some sweet customization options to facilitate a variety of play types. Multiple types of ammunition for each gun, but not enough of a single type of ammo to make you feel comfortable, adding to the atmosphere of survival. Sporatic gun upgrades to allow you to keep using the same weapon against increasingly stronger enemies, environmental kills, inventive traps. Overall just a winner in the gameplay department.

The storyline, although I hated it at first, is fantastic. Subtle hints that later turn into grand perspective changing events that you didn't notice when they happen. A fantastic plot culminating in one of the single most thought provoking events I have ever experienced in a game (Andrew Ryans Office) and a deep (although short) ending.

Despite my earlier feelings about the game, I give Bioshock a 10. If you havent played this game, go get it, now. There is a reason it won game of the year its a goddamn masterpiece of gaming. There are 3-4 events in the course of this game that will stay with me forever, they are that good.

The damage was 910 Achievement Points over 25-30 hours of Gameplay, Long for a FPS but good throughout.

Final Fantasy Tactics: The war of the Lions (PSP) Review

This right here is why I bought a PSP.

I spent -alot- of time playing this game in highschool, -alot- of time. When I saw that they FINALLY remade it for the psp I think I violently deuced in my pants. Also seeing this finally gives hope that they will remake FF7.

For all intents and purposes it is exactly the same game as it was in 1997, the only additions were these kinda cool semi-cell shaded but not really cell shaded, more like pencil shaded in movies that replace some events in the storyline. Also they gayed up the language and replaced the 'normal' talk in tactics 1.0 with like, Shakespere to the fucking extreme. They added two new jobs, The Dark Knight and the Onion Knight, Dark Knight is pretty much the same as Gafgarion was before and Onion knight sucks balls (no abilitys but can equip everything). They added a multiplayer cooperate mode and a vs battle via the ad hoc, but good luck playing it unless some of your friends convinced you to buy a psp to play with them. NOBODY I know locally has a psp (this changed last night, but I doubt hes getting tactics) so I havent even had a chance to try this feature out. They shouldve handled it the same way MGS:Portable Ops works online, just playing online like everything else but using the wireless to do so.

The graphics on the units were sprites so those look the same, the geometry looks like crap because its psx quality, and the animations for the special moves (exception: the new DK skills) look like crap (IE: 1997).

But nobody ever played this for the graphics, they played it for the MASSIVE AMOUNT OF OPTIONS FOR YOUR DUDES. The customization options are still rediculous, new skills in almost all the jobs in addition to totally fucking up the names of the abilities you know and love. Accumulate is now Shout or something equally gay, All the monk names are completely different, etc.

If this was 1997 I would have to give Tactics a 9+, but it isnt. Granted this is for a handheld system I can give you a little as far as graphics, but still.

Final Fantasy Tactics: The war of the Lions manages to garner a 7.75 out of me due to the aging quality of the graphics and the fact that I doubt the multiplayer is 'amazing', in theory I get to try this feature out soon so i might bump the score up, but it wont go up more than half a point, if that. The gameplay is still everything it was back then, and awesome. The in depth story and all its twists and turns still holds up against the best written works ever made.

A Must have for any final fantasy fan, even if you have to get a psp to play it.

Frets on Fire (PC)

If you don't know what Frets on Fire is, and im sure most of you don't, I will explain.

Frets on Fire is an opensource Guitar Hero ripoff, opensource meaning made by people in their spare time and totally free.

If your interested, the website is http://fretsonfire.sourceforge.com/, again totally free game.

I wont rip it too much because I'll give all the credit in the world to guys doing opensource projects.

Basically it works exactly the same as GH does, wammy bar isnt implemented, theres no star power and I don't think you can actually fail songs (no rock meter)

The game 'works', you can infact find songs made by users and play them, and there is a pretty fantastic community at work and a nice plethora of songs avaliable to download - Including all GH 1-3+80's songs and the Rock band songs. After an hour of looking through their forums I had already downloaded some 300 songs, just to test them out.

The bad part is that the game totally lacks any form of polish, it feels barebones even though there is a little bit of meat to it, ugly basic notes sliding down the screen tward the bar and you hit them.

I guess the concept is that you flip over your keyboard and play the F1-F5 keys as frets, and hit enter to strum, but.. fuck that.

Using my handy dandy usb to ps2 adapter and fucking around on the net looking for a joystick to keyboard stroke configuration utility, finding the right drivers for the adapter, and having to change the batteries in my guitar after 20 minutes of trying to figure out why it wouldnt work.. (dur) i finally got my ps2 guitar to work.

This game is pretty much going to stay on my computer forever now, ill update it when updates come out, but i think its a fantastic way to continue practicing your GH skills after you get tired of the songs on GH3.